


Falling

by Deang_Kast



Series: The Doctor, Rose Tyler, and The Psychopath [3]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-28 07:22:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5082850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deang_Kast/pseuds/Deang_Kast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor writes Rose a letter after he leaves her back in the Parallel Universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling

**Author's Note:**

> This is a companion piece to Second Chances. The Doctors letters, dreams, thoughts after he has left Rose and the Human Doctor at Bad Wolf Bay. 
> 
> This can be read before, during, or after Second chances.  
> I hope you all enjoy.
> 
> Disclaimer: All of Doctor Who belongs to BBC and no where close to me.

  


Dear Rose,

            My beautiful pink and yellow human. You came back to me. Even after I had given up on ever being able to see your smile or hear you voice, you came back to me. I should’ve known that if anyone could’ve done it, it would be you. After all, look what happened at the game station. You are impossible, my love.

            When Donna told me to ask you myself, I didn’t dare believe it. But I turned anyway and there you were. All the pain of the last two year just disappeared when I saw you. My hearts started beating again. Oh Rose, you are so brilliant, just so fantastic. I was almost to you and that Dalek shot me and all I could think of was that you had returned to me.

            I watched the fear wash over you when that happened but I wasn’t going to change again when you had just come back and that hand was right there so I had a disposal system, or that was my thought at the time. Oh I am so STUPID at times. I wish I could change it but it’s impossible.

            I did the hardest thing I have ever had to do, Rose. Harder than Gallifrey because it had to be done there to save so many people. Harder even than sending you home from the Game Station because that was all I could do to keep you safe. Do you know why it was so hard? I stood there refusing to say the words I knew you needed to hear. Of course it needed to be said. Do you want to know what I wanted to say?

            Do you remember what I said back when I was all ears? I took your hand and said that I could feel the turn of the earth and how fast it spins beneath out feet, hurtling around the sun and that I could feel us falling through space. Then I dropped your hand and told you to forget me and go home. Do you remember? I do. I remember being so scared of what you could be to me. I felt the connection to you as soon as I took your hand and told you to run. Oh Rose, I fought it. I fought so hard in that body. That angry body who thought he didn’t deserve your love but loved you so much more than you could have imagined. You don’t remember our first kiss but I do. That kiss killed the Doctor that worshipped the ground you walked on but oh what a way to go. I would do it a thousand times more if I could.

            There were so many times I wanted to say it Rose. Remember The Wire? Well, of course you remember that. Who would forget losing their face? Do you know how scared I was Rose? My hearts stuttered when I saw your faceless face. And then I saw you in that screen, oh I became so angry. No one who harms you gets a second chance Rose. Did you realize that?

            Remember Krop Tor? I tried to say it then but I wasn’t sure if I would be able to return and I didn’t want you to hurt even more if that happened. Besides you knew, right? That was my excuse back then. Now I know it was just me being scared again. I thought I had all the time in the universe to tell you and then I lost you the first time.

            I tried to break through Rose. I almost killed myself and the Tardis trying to get to you but you’ll never know. Then I burned a supernova just to say goodbye. I tried to say it then. Rose Tyler, I love you. Oh so much.

            I could’ve said all of that but I’m a coward and just asked you if it really needed to be said. I watched the pain in your eyes as my hearts shattered in my chest and watched as he whispered those words in your ear. I saw how those words affected you. Oh Rose, then you kissed him with those lips that I’ve wanted to taste again for so long. I almost feel to my knees begging you to forgive me right then but I didn’t. Instead I watched and wished it was me and then turned and walked away. I’ll never forget you Rose. I know that. But my song is ending and how could I possibly keep you with me when I know that? His life is beginning while mine is ending and I can’t possibly do that to you. So he gets you because what I said was true. He needs you and that is so much me.

Please be happy Rose, I love you.


End file.
